Nein, Intel


It’s the dawning of a new era. Intel’s new core 9th generation processors are set to be released and with it the beginning of true computing power… for some. I mean c’mon, 8 cores and 16 threads, a sure way to kick AMD in the nuts at the start line with clock speeds that could make Barry Allen jealous, what more could an Intel fanboy want? Well here are my thoughts on the release of Intel’s 9th generation chips. WARNING: Kids cover your ears because it’s about to get dirty.

In the beginning, Intel created core i3 processors with 2 cores and 4 threads and then decided that wasn’t good enough so they created the core i5 with 4 cores and 4 threads but then, after having a cup of morning joe and experiencing the effects of caffeine, they decided that wasn’t good enough. So, the core i7 was born with 4 cores and a caffeine injection of 8 threads, and it was GOOD. Then all the cool kids on the block started smoking herb, Intel got curious, smoked some with them, had an epiphany, and decided to give their core i5 and core i7 an extra 2 cores each (2 cores and 4 threads for the i7) and strangely enough, IT WAS PERFECT. Intel decided that it was time to celebrate, went out and got a bottle of Sake, got a bit sloshed, passed out and woke up the next day with a bad hangover and AMD’s Threadripper 2 and Ryzen 7 2700x processor at their doorstep. So out of desperation they quickly drew up a pentagon, placed an i7 processor in the middle, hopped around it a few times while mumbling some mumbo jumbo about overclocking, ghz and better lids, sacrificed some canned foods and out of the depths of their Taiwanese factories rose an 8 core, 16 thread core i9 whose only purpose was to… I don’t know, any thoughts on this?

Don’t get me wrong. Innovation, progression and development, yaaay! It’s absolutely great that Intel created the i9 processor. But, after their night of heavy partying followed a series of poor decisions which included an “upgrade” to the core i7 processors. I am a big fan of the technology that they have introduced with their 9th Generation processors, what bothers me is, well… where do I start?

Firstly, I don’t agree with Intel changing the core i7 processor to a non-HT 8-core processor. Hyper-threading technology works better because hyper-threaded cores work in succession with the main cores which ultimately allows the main core to process two threads at a time. Sort of like what Robin is to Batman. The main core does all the dirty work, kicking names and taking butts, while the hyper-threaded core handles the menial tasks and deals with the peasants. This works out great because it gives the processor more multi-tasking capability. That’s as simple as it gets folks.

Now, removing the hyper-threaded cores from the i7 is castrating it. Yeah, 8 physical cores are fun but they aren’t hyper-threaded. Why not keep the core i7 as a lower end budget hyper-threaded option? Well that leads me to my second point.

For years companies have been utilizing the “milking” strategies in order to make more money off consumers. Let me explain, Disney is on their way to releasing their third Star Wars movie in three years after it took nearly three decades to create the original six movies (a guise which has destroyed the Star Wars franchise for me personally). Disney likes to milk that stuff and so does Intel. Unlike the hipster Star Wars fans of today the consumer market for computer enthusiasts have a little more “computing” power and Intel knows this. People would rather dish out the money and buy a core i7 because it had HT technology and that is your only other option aside from the core i3, that’s well mediocre. Had the i5 been a hyper-threaded processor most people would rather have opted for that because let’s be honest, even the core i7 is overkill for gaming.

Let’s get deeper into this. Intel’s business model has been to upgrade their architecture every second generation. That way we went from 32nm Processors to 24nm to 14nm. Why, oh why then are the new 9th generation processors still based on 14nm processors? I believe the simple answer to that is that size does really matter. There is only so much you can do to make a chip smaller and fit more cores on it before it becomes inefficient. Yes, the guys down at Intel are still planning to release a 10nm chip somewhere in the future, but I’m guessing only the guys from Back to the Future will be able to tell you when.

Finally, I could forgive all of the above (except perhaps the part about the i7 processors, I’m really pissed off about that people), if it wasn’t for the blatant dishonesty. Honestly, we expected more from a brand which has given us much gaming joy in the past. Why resort to downright cheating if most of the market would have probably remained with Intel despite AMD releasing a slightly better processor? Shame on you Intel.

So, to sum it all up, Intel allowed AMD to slowly creep up on them until it got real, they woke up from their hard night of partying, quickly kitted out their i7 and then outsourced the benchmarking job to the same scaly dudes they bought their party drugs off. Remember that story about the Tortoise and the Hare? Copying the old processors, slapping on more cores, tweaking it for some extra performance and giving it a shiny new name is not innovation, its improvising and it certainly does not give you the “Best Gaming Performance Processor”. Playing dirty tricks on your competitor on top of it, well that’s just bad faith.

For those of you planning on buying the new 9th Generation i9 processors, please, for goodness sake, wait to see what the performance benchmarks are really like before you go out and spend your hard-earned cash on a promise from Intel.


John Scheffer

About John Scheffer

John started his writing career right here on Carbonite News. When not writing, he can normally be found trolling around Carbonite Forums. He enjoys long walks on the beach and sundown pinna-colladas, but what really gets his fire going is computers. "There is just so much to talk about, such as bits and the logic behind Intel’s naming of their processors or even generations of processors". He likes living dangerously, zooming in on google maps very quickly just to remind himself that skydiving is not for him and working on his own computer at home. He also enjoys learning the ways of overclocking, water cooling and floating-point performance in order to achieve maximum performance. He hopes to keep all his readers entertained with articles where they will hopefully be able to swallow all that dry overload of information, normally provided in reviews, with some good humor.